3 pm,its another Sunday afternoon...sitting in my small packaged room i look outside through the window...as usual it is partly cloudy out there...sun is shrinking beneath the cloud, so as my fucked off life ..i look at the cigarette pack lying on my bed...written "honeydew blend" just above "smoking kills"...the word "honey" holds me back to two most beautiful women in my life...my mom, she uses "honey" more than any other when she talks to me.. every time it sounds more sweeter ..and the second human is her...I feel a strange peace in my mind when I look at her that one can realize way below the frozen ocean...more beautiful than a lone flourished tree on a dry mountain...we lived almost two years together..Together we walked,we laughed,we drank and we smoked...we always shared cigarettes together..she would lit one,would take two puffs first and then would give me..i loved to smoke her lips-touched cig..But one day she's gone.. my every morning begins with a half lived dream where i saw her in a beautiful white tank rolling a joint sitting beside me on bed...i see her exquisite long bare legs touching my chest...her long hair falling on my face..and then i wake up...that begins my typical day.....i own a bookshop now, before i used to be a painter...gave up painting around 12 years back...A few people visit my store.Most of them come for erotica...But there is one regular visitor..Nora,lives in my front house.She is 12..she comes everyday after school. On weekend, spends almost whole day with me..She asks me many devoid questions looking at different pics from any arbitrary book....i try in vain to answer them...i like to see her face when she asks me those unreasonable questions....same innocent puzzled face,selfless smile..sometimes she falls asleep on me..i don't try to wake her up until Mrs Clair,Nora's mom, takes her...in the evening I have my dinner in a small eatery nearby my house..before going to sleep i lit another cigarette and look at my last painting hanging on the wall...her smiling face..i drew it 12 years back..It was the smile on her face when she told me she was having cancer and she would not stay long...a smile with a weird kind of refrain in her eyes...She came to me,held me tight,kissed me for a moment and again smiled,told me "I am never going to leave you alone"....that smile is still fresh in my memory..i keep looking at her smile...slowly i find her sitting beside me on bed with her leg on my chest and smiling at me...then I wake up....feel empty,lost in a bewildered world..i remember the day when she kissed me for last time...Mrs Clair was very happy that day..Nora was born...her word was echoing in my ears "I am never going to leave you alone"..I look through the window...Nora leaving for her school..she waves her hand at me with a smile...I smile back at her..then I smile at myself...and then I lit another cigarette...
